HUMAN HAPPINESS - ITS NATURE & ITS ATTAINMENT
VOLUME II: THE ATTAINMENT OF HAPPINESS
CHAPTER 7
GET BETTER ORGANIZED
AND PLAN THINGS OUT
THE FOURTH FUNDAMENTAL
Fundamental Four is "Get Better Organized and Plan Things Out."
Like all of the Fundamentals, this Fundamental is based on the research on happy individuals which finds them to be quite well-organized, efficient, non-procrastinating, and excellent time-managers. In general, they tend to approach their daily life with a well-considered "game plan." And this, in turn, helps them achieve the high degree of productivity we discussed in the previous Chapter.
The research findings (as previously reviewed in Volume I) draw a clear picture. Happy people are frequently characterized as being competent, effective people (2, 27, 34, 108, 122, 132, 230, 235, 415). They have the necessary mastery over themselves and their surroundings to achieve their goals (132). They tend to be more serious, deliberate, and planful than unhappy people (129). They prefer, in general, to plan things out, rather than go on impulse (129, 132). They make more long range commitments (132), they are punctual (132), they are efficient (59, 132), and they are "clear-thinking" (261, 262). They tend to overestimate the amount of time they'll need to do their work (132), they are persistent in seeking their goals (144), and they are less quick to tire from their work (63, 129). They show initiative (132, 401), and generally show autonomy in their decision making (rarely needing to ask others for advice) (202). Furthermore, happy people are industrious, self-assertive, forceful, spirited, and able (132); dominant (59, 132) and influential (286); responsible and cooperative (202); and emotionally mature (132, 401, 402). They focus more diligently on immediate problems and tasks (202), show excellent self-direction and organization (132), deal successfully with others, and have many leadership qualities (12, 21, 27, 65, 107, 129, 130, 202).
Yet, it is not just everyday organization that characterizes happy people, their long-term approach to life appears well-panned, as well. The research we reviewed in Volume I shows happy people tend to be far more certain of their total "life plan" than most average or unhappy people are. For example, happy people have a much better idea about their priorities in life. They are more certain and sure regarding their attitudes, values, and beliefs. Their "philosophy of life" is well-developed and shows a great deal of thought. Their goals are well defined and their strategies display long range foresight.
Unhappy people, in contrast, tend to be rather undirected and inefficient. They seem to lack a basic plan of attack on life, preferring to go on impulse, lacking any real direction. They are less certain, indeed often confused, about their values and philosophy of life. And, though often given to over-idealized dreams and ambitions, they tend to procrastinate, get caught up in the routine, and devote little energy to their goals (which are rather poorly defined in the first place).
One of the words psychologists have used in describing happy people is the word "direction." It is a sense of self-knowledge, composed of one's values, beliefs, desires, and needs, combined with a candid appraisal of one's abilities and limits, which, together, provide an inner sense of guidance through life. In this sense, it appears that happy people are marvelously well-directed people. They have a sense of inner guidance and certainty-of-purpose that aims them toward their desires and helps them overcome difficulties -- and, not coincidentally, leads them to happiness.
In sum, therefore, happy individuals seem to know what they want and know where they are going in life. And when this is combined with a steady, well-organized day-to-day approach to life -- greater happiness is the result.
Based on the research, you too might reap great happiness rewards if you could develop some of the organized and planning characteristics of the happiest individuals, particularly if procrastination and lack of direction are typical of you now!
To do this, we'll separate our discussion in two. First, we'll deal with the "long term," planning aspects of Fundamental Four; and second, we'll deal with "short term" organizational skills.
LONG TERM PLANNING
The ultimate aim of long-term planning is to develop a basic sense of "direction" in life. To put it more simply, as I've often said before, "to get what you want, you have to know what you want" (tapes).
Here, once again, one has to answer the "big questions" in life -- just as we discussed in the last chapter on Fundamental Three, "Be Productive at Meaningful Work." In fact, in many cases the questions are the same as they were there...
"What is important in Life?" "What is my Life all about?" "What really matters to me?" "What do I want from life?" Etc..
In that sense, if you've been thinking about these questions, half the work is already done!
Finding what holds meaning for you places you a long way on the road to better "direction." But it takes a bit more. Now it comes down to the specifics. Once the basics have been determined -- once the bigger questions have been answered -- the more strategic questions need to be addressed. How does one eventually get from "here" to "there."
Here the questions become more refined. What are your basic desires? What are your skills and talents -- and what are your weaknesses and shortcomings? What do you need out of life, what you need out of relationships, what you need from a career? What are your psychological needs and what kind of life would fulfill those needs? What kind of job, what kind of social situation, what kind of a marital relation would best lead to them?
Even the more everyday questions are appropriate here. For example, as we asked in the chapter on Fundamental One, ("Be More Active and Keep Busy"), "What kinds of activities do you enjoy the most?" Or when we asked in our discussion of Fundamental Two ("Spend More Time Socializing"), "How can you become more social?"
Thus the present Fundamental, as the previous have, requires "soul searching" on your part.
It seems that a major part of any truly successful journey to greater happiness necessitates a great deal of personal self-examination. So if you thought that the Fourteen Fundamentals would present you with an easy, "quick fix" for your happiness woes, you're somewhat mistaken.
Certainly on the surface, most of the nominal Fundamental dictates are easy to employ. One can easily spend a little more time socializing with others -- and one can add one more "fun" thing to their weekly routine, if they try. But the easy approach to the Fundamentals, although possible to follow, misses the most important point to them...
The research paints not just the picture of a person who has a lot of fun and socializes a lot (although this is true to a large extent) -- it also paints the picture of a person who is basically thoughtful and has spent a lot of time in deep self-exploration. It is the picture of a person who knows himself or herself well -- a person who has crystallized a satisfactory philosophy of life, clarified important values, and identified important beliefs. It is a picture of an individual who has not only answered the "big questions" in life, but even knows to a more certain degree his or her everyday preferences. It is that true sense of "direction" borne of many years of careful self-examination...
As (who said this -- Aristotle, Plato) once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
The examined life is required for true happiness -- and after all the necessary examination is over, the important result is that one come to a basic "direction" for their life. Simply put, decide what you want out of life and begin to map a strategy toward it.
Happy people know what they want from life, thus usually find it. Unhappy people never know what they want, thus only rarely bump into it.
SHORT TERM ORGANIZATION
Obviously it would be ideal if you could eventually become more like the happiest individuals who've answered all the "big" questions in their mind, and consequently set a life-long course of "direction" for themselves. But, as we've already indicated, this is a task which requires a great deal of introspection and time -- and we have to move on to talk about short-term organization. Indeed, even if we have "the big picture" all mapped-out, for most of us, it's going to require a great deal of organizational talent merely to find some time just to have some extra fun or to spend more time socializing!
So let's turn to the short-term and learn some of the tricks time-management experts suggest to help you get your day-to-day act together -- not just to aid you in meeting your daily responsibilities, but to find the time to enjoy more happy pursuits, as well.
In theory, most of us have far more potential time in our lives to keep up with all our obligations and desires than we ever seem to actually realize. A lack of organization is part of the problem. Many of us simply never learned the kinds of basic planning skills that happier, more successful people use. So in this chapter we'll review some of the more basic of these.
But a far larger problem is procrastination (the tendency to continually postpone getting started, or completing, things). Unhappy people are particularly prone to procrastination, according to the research. But many average, and even some reasonably happy individuals, are also plagued by this inclination to put things off. Indeed, procrastination is so wide spread, it appears to be a minor national epidemic.
Oh, you've heard those old jokes before:
"Procrastination is a waste of time."
"I love to procrastinate, but I keep putting it off."
Or the one about the guy who wanted to join Procrastinators Anonymous (PA) but never could, because they kept postponing their meetings.
But all joking aside, procrastination can be quite detrimental to personal happiness. Indeed, it is one of the most insidious -- and least recognized -- causes of depression there is as we discussed in the previous Chapter. As we mentioned then, most of us a little guilty and disappointed with themselves when we let things slide. Yet these feelings generally go unrecognized on a conscious level. Rather, they gnaw at us on a more subconscious level. As they do, a subtle depression begins to cloud our days. Soon, we come to sense we are a bit low. Yet as we try to put our finger on it, we can't seem to isolate the cause. As far as we can see, things are going pretty much as they normally do. So why are we feeling depressed? Often, it's due to procrastination.
ANTI-CRASTINATION
To help "Get Better Organized and Plan Things Out," we have a four-step plan of attack, nicknamed the "Anti-Crastination" program. It is a simplified hybrid of strategies developed by psychologists, time-management specialists, and efficiency experts.
The four steps are:
1. LIST 2. RATE 3. PRIORITIZE 4. REINFORCE, IF NECESSARY
STEP ONE: LIST
One of the most well-documented characteristics of well-organized people is that they are chronic "listers." To keep ahead of the game, organized people continuously make, modify, and up-date lists of necessary tasks, overall goals, and basic responsibilities. Such lists appear to be fundamental to good "time-management." Just like a well-thought-out "grocery list" helps avoid extra trips to the supermarket, a more general list of tasks avoids wasting time or forgetting important engagements. Furthermore, seeing one's plans and activities in an overall view, helps one schedule time more efficiently and aids in setting priorities.
According to the experts, "listing" is one of the most basic secrets of successful people, so if you don't do it now, it's time to get started!
Sit down and begin listing everything you can think of that you want -- or have -- to do.
However, before you start, it is essential that you NOT list your items on a single sheet of paper as you ordinarily would. Instead, get a stack of index cards and write each individual item on an separate card. This will serve the same purpose in terms of itemizing your tasks, but as you move to other steps, you'll find these individual cards much easier to arrange and rearrange than a list on a single sheet of paper.
To begin with, start with a very general listing.
On individual cards, write down everything that needs doing. Include items like daily chores, work assignments, regular appointment, and other obligations. Try to itemize everything which consumes your time on a typical day or week. Beyond this, add a card for every current project, special event, or maintenance chore that you know is upcoming. Here might go items like: "Mother's Day," "oil change for the cars," "the November sales presentation," "review insurance policies," etc.. Additionally, you ought to list any current goals you have in mind, e.g., "develop proposal for a new branch office," "volunteer time at the Red Cross," "start a vegetable garden," "look for a better job," "get my college degree," etc...
Don't stop your list with the "strict requirements" of your life, leave plenty of room for "fun" activities. Include cards for all the enjoyable activities you can think of. (Indeed, if you took our discussion of Fundamental One, "Be More Active and Keep Busy," to heart, you already have such a list! However, now it might be helpful to transfer these items to index cards as well.)
Once you've done all this, you may be sitting in front of a rather substantial stack of index cards -- possibly hundreds of them! (In fact, you may not have had enough cards, and resorted to torn slips of paper, cocktail napkins, or whatever else you could find around the house.) Nonetheless, lying before you is all your ever need accomplish in life.
Yet as you look at it, you feel a bit overwhelmed. How can you do it all? Where can you find the time?
The answers come in the next steps of the Anti-Crastination Program...
STEP 2: RATE
The next step is to rate each of the items you've written down.
Go through your cards and mark each as to how card) and mark it as to how enjoyable it is to do. Keep it simple. Mark a "+" by items you really enjoy, a "-" by items you don't enjoy, and a "0" by items you feel neutral about it.
Now your deck is rated as to its "enjoyment factor" (a factor that will be important in accomplishing your tasks later on).
As you marked the cards this time, you may have seen a pattern emerging. In general, practically all of the things which occupy human activity fall into one of three categories: 1) there are the things we "have to do" (chores, obligations, duties, etc.), 2) there are the things we "want to do" (fun, pleasures, accomplishments, etc.), and 3) there are the things we "do do" (the things we actually spend our time doing). The categories are not mutually exclusive, some of the things we "do do," for example may also be things we "want to do" as well.
Overlying this schema, is the "enjoyment factor" we just rated. In each category some items are enjoyable, others more neutral, and still others are not enjoyable at all.
Combining these factors, we come up with some nine possible combinations as diagramed below (including some example items we'll discuss further):
Enjoy Neutral Dislike ----------------------------------------- Have to | attend | daily | visit | | office party| chores | dentist | ----------------------------------------- Want to | have | paint the | write a | | fun | living room | great novel | ----------------------------------------- Do do | | | | | ? | ? | ? | -----------------------------------------
Take the the things we feel we "have to do." Some of these (like a visit to the dentist) may have a decidedly negative "enjoyment factor." Our daily chores, on the other hand, may be more neutral in enjoyment. And some of the things we "have to do" (like attend the annual office party) may have a high a very "enjoyment factor" whether we're obligated to do them or not.
The same is true of the items we "want to do." Most of the things we "want to do" are also the things we rate high in enjoyment (like fun and leisure pursuits). But some may be more neutral (such as "paint the living room"). And some of the things we "want to do" the most, like "write that Great Novel," may be total misery for us to actually do, no matter how much we want to accomplish it.
In using these examples, we have to take individual differences into account. For example, if you actually enjoy writing, perhaps "writing the Great Novel" might, for you, be better placed in the "Enjoyable/ Want To" box. Likewise, if you really like going to the dentist, then this example should be placed there also! And where would you place your current job? Is is something you have to do and hate -- or is it something you want to do and love?
Furthermore, what about the "Do do" boxes? You'll note that these have been filled with question marks ("?"). That's because they fall within the most important category of all: how you actually spend your time! The question marks are there because only you know how you really spend your time. And since you are the only one who knows, it might be valuable, at this point, to find out...
Just for the fun of it, mark out a space on a table (or on the carpet) with the nine boxes diagramed above and one- by-one place each card in the box which seems most appropriate.
A survey of the resulting piles can give you a good indication of your basic happiness-problems...
First, as you look at the piles check how large the stacks appear in the "high enjoyment" column. No matter whether they fall in the "have to," "want to," or "do do" rows, a higher count of cards in this column is indicative of a happier person! This is especially true if the largest bulk of cards fall in the "high enjoyment/ do do" box, for as we saw in Volume I, the happiest people would probably have "plusses" on most of their cards (seeing how they love their jobs, their responsibilities, their family-life, and most everything else that they do). If, on the other hand, most of your cards fall into the neutral of negative columns, you probably are more like unhappier people who find little enjoyment in their current life-situation.
Second, check the rows. Compare what you "do do" to what you "have to" or "want to" be doing. Whether you enjoy the items or not, if you find there are more cards in the "do do" row, at least you're accomplishing things. If, however, there are few cards in the "do do" row, you clearly have a procrastination problem!
STEP 3: PRIORITIZE
So far, you've listed the things you want and have to do. You've rated in terms of the "enjoyment factor." And you've been able to view them in terms of the nine possible categories each falls.
Yet, looking at the entire list of things may seem overwhelming. There are so many items and so little time! How can one make gain a handle on it all? Where does one begin the attack?
You need to prioritize!
But how? Here is where the "importance factor" comes into play...
Obviously, some things are more important to do than others. You'd love to play golf with the guys, but you promised to take your kids to the fair. You need to work on that office project, but your family needs a vacation. You'd like to volunteer at the hospital, but the house needs painting. You ought to invite the "boss" to dinner, but you'd rather spend a "romantic night out" with your spouse.
To set a profitable agenda, the items on your cards must once again be judged -- this time in their order of importance.
Let's assume you now have thirty cards in your deck (although I bet you may have close to 100 if you've really worked at it). How might you set them in some sensible order?
Well, if you've got a table big enough, you could lay all the cards out on top of it and begin to put them in some order of priority. Or, perhaps, you could lay them out on the floor and do the same thing. Alternately, you might just treat them like a "poker deck," shuffling and reshuffling them in your hand until you arrive at a final priority. But, frankly, these strategies are difficult and time consuming (and when the number of choices is large, the task becomes almost impossible to deal with).
Mathematicians, however, have devised a simpler strategy. Rather than requiring the choice of prioritizing dozens of items in one global attack, the strategy only requires making one "yes" or "no" choice at a time. The idea is to reduce a complex set of overall decisions into a series of easy, item-by-item, "yes"/"no" decisions. The result being, almost by magic, a completely and perfect prioritization listing of any set of items.
This mathematical strategy is easy to employ in our present situation. Take the deck of cards you have. Shuffle them in if you'd like (although, no shuffling is actually necessary). Remove any two cards from the deck. Look at both of them, and decide which of the is "more important" for you to do.
Hold in one hand the card you consider the "more important" and discard the other to create a discard stack. Pull the next card from the original deck and compare it to the card you've held in hand. Again, comparing both, decide which is "more important" of the two. Keep the "more important" in hand. Discard the "less important" to the discard stack.
Continue to compare each card from the original deck to the one in hand, discarding the "less important" one to the discard stack, until all the cards are gone. According to the mathematical theory, the card which remains in hand is your top priority! Set this card aside, and mark it as your number 1 priority.
To find your second priority, shuffle the discard deck and go through the process again, taking any two cards in turn, deciding which is "more important," until one remains. This is your #2 priority!
The remaining priorities in the hierarchy are established in the same manner. In each round, any two cards are compared. After all comparisons have been made, the card in hand ranks next in order of "more importance." The procedure goes on until all cards are placed.
The result: all cards, as if by magic, appear in an order of "importance."
It's hard to believe how easily this method creates a priority listing of disparate items. But if you are skeptical, reshuffle the cards again and see if the results differ. The resulting hierarchy will be approximately the same (if not identically the same) every time you do it.
STEP 4: REINFORCE, IF NECESSARY
Finally you've got your cards prioritized. At the top of the deck are the most important items, at the bottom, the least important ones. Now things are more manageable: it's just a matter of attacking each of the items, from the top on down.
Yet, here again, we run into a snag...
The problem is that many of the items we've placed at the top of our deck, in terms of "importance," are items that have minus ratings in terms of "enjoyment." In other words, many of the things which are important to us in priority are rather unpleasant to do. As an example, we chose the card which said "the house needs painting" as more important than the card which said "play a round of golf with the guys." Yet we rated the house painting as a "-" and the golf game as a "+".
It's the classic example of a problem we all face: having fun verses doing our chores. The solution is to combine the two! We need to find a way to positively reinforce ourselves for engaging in unpleasant, but necessary, activity. We need, more simply, to reward ourselves for doing our chores!
TREAT ANALYSIS
Ever since Pavlov demonstrated that a dog could be trained to salivate for a ringing bell instead of food, psychologists have been fascinated with the role which positive reinforcement plays on the development of human habits.
Most of my students in Basic Psychology class view those early Pavlov experiments as more amusing than enlightening. Compared to other experiments they learn about, the finding that a dog which had a bell rung every time it was fed would start to salivate upon hearing the bell alone, seems obvious and rather trivial.
Yet in everyday life, Pavlov's simple findings have much to teach us. Such simple reinforcements shape our lives in little ways we hardly even notice. Particularly when it comes to our tendency to procrastinate...
Procrastination is not an inborn tendency. It is a learned habit. Worse yet, it is generally a habit we inadvertently teach to ourselves! In other words, just like Pavlov's dogs, most of us teach ourselves to be procrastinators, using the same, basic reinforcement strategies Pavlov used. It all begins with positive reinforcement...
What is a human "positive reinforcement?" Usually we think of such things as "love," "power," "sex," or "achievement." But such grand things come along only once in a while for most of us. In actuality, most human reinforcements are rather commonplace: a good meal, a candy bar, a hot shower, a favorite T.V. show, etc..
The trouble is, few of us see such everyday, simple pleasures as "reinforcements." Yet they are -- and they tend to shape our behaviors in ways we never realize!
In actual practice, each of us tend to lavish ourselves with dozens of little reinforcements every day. In fact, we are horribly self-indulgent creatures! The only reason we don't notice it is because all of us do it!
The list is endless: a can of soda, the "midnight snack," fooling with our hobby, eating a bag of potato chips, relaxing in the back-yard chair, talking to a friend on the phone, listening to a favorite album, having a stick of gum or a cigarette, napping on the couch, reading a good book or magazine, a quiet walk, etc., etc..
"Treat analysis" begins with a close monitoring of all the everyday treats you give yourself. Watch yourself for a few days to a week and write down every little indulgence. Note each snack, the time spent watching T.V., and every visit to the refrigerator. List every soda or cup of coffee. Log the number of times you play golf, sit in the hot-tub, take a break at work, talk to a friend, go out for lunch or dinner, go for a swim, take-in a movie, work on a hobby, daydream at the office, go fishing, take a nap, shop, hit the corner bar, or just relax around the house.
In a way, "treat analysis" is quite similar to the "pleasure analysis" we did in Chapter One. That, of course, was a listing of all the "fun" things you do, and you might refer to that list to get some further ideas for this one. The main difference between the two, though, is that "treat analysis" looks for the everyday, little pleasures we give ourselves.
It only takes a few days of monitoring to be struck by the hundreds of ways you "treat" yourself. I suspect you'll be quite amazed when you discover the hundreds of little ways you do it -- and even more amazed to note how OFTEN you do it.
Now, it's not so bad THAT you're indulging yourself, what's bad is WHEN you're indulging yourself!
As you keep your notes, also consider the context of the "treat" you're providing yourself. When do you take time-out for a little reward?
In large part, the pattern will seem quite random. For most of us, this is usually the case. We treat ourselves, every now and then, for no particular reason. Some of our treats may be habitual (like the morning cup of coffee), others irregular (the idea of some treat just "hits us"), and still others may be physiologically based ("Boy, am I hungry," or "A soda would taste great right now.")
Typically, we tend to indulge ourselves with little treats quite randomly -- intermittent pleasures based on intermittent whim. And usually, we give it little thought.
But we should!
You see, according to basic learning theory, treats serve as strong reinforcers which, over time, tend to shape our behavior. Anyone who has trained a pet knows how quickly little tidbits of food can be employed to reward a desired response or trick. Even my tropical fish have learned to tell time with such reinforcement. Thanks to a precise feeding schedule, they all have learned to congregate at one end of the tank around 8 o'clock in the morning and 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
If you look at it that way, all of a sudden our little, everyday treats take on an alarming, new dimension. Each is a subtle reinforcer! Each provides a reward! Thus every treat we give ourselves tends to shape our behavior!
So the question becomes: how are we training ourselves?
Well, since most of our treats occur randomly, most of the time we're training ourselves for nothing particular. At best, therefore, it might be said that we tend to continually reinforce what we normally do. In other words, we tend to reward ourselves for our already entrenched routines and habits.
This, by itself, may not be all that bad, but when we examine typical "treat patterns" more closely, a more sinister specter appears.
In my research analyses, I have found that most people don't randomly "treat" themselves, at all. Rather, they are "treating" themselves for procrastination!
Close monitoring shows that, more often than not, most people take "time-out" to treat themselves at the precise time when there is a task or chore which should be done! In other words, treats are often used to temporarily avoid, interrupt, or postpone responsibilities. What's worse, using treats in this manner actually rewards a person for lazy, procrastinating behavior!
To demonstrate this common phenomenon, take the following scenarios:
It's Sunday and it's time to mow the lawn. However, the "Big Game" is on T.V. soon. You think about it and decide to watch the "Big Game" first, and mow the lawn after it's over. Thus you spend the next few hours relaxing in your easy-chair, "popping" an occasional beer, munch on some pretzels, and enjoying the game. Hopefully, you'll get to the lawn later. But even if you do, what are you doing now? You're watching the "Big Game," completely enjoying yourself, and giving yourself a lavish reward for lazy, postponing behavior!
It's time to write that term-paper for Sociology class. Yet, as you think about it, you decide to hit the refrigerator first. You head to the kitchen, make yourself a jumbo sandwich, and gobble it down with some corn chips and a Coke. Afterwards, you plan to work on that paper. But even if you do, what are you doing now? Actually, you've just given yourself a lavish reward for procrastination!
As you monitor your own "treat pattern," it may become embarrassingly clear how often you reward yourself for such lazy behavior, as well!
Clearly, here is your problem. Day after day, year after year, you've been subtly reinforcing yourself for various forms of avoidance behavior. At the very times when you should be getting down to work, you've probably been "treating" yourself for escaping that work. You never were aware you were doing this, but all the years of such inadvertent training -- just like Pavlov's dogs -- has provided you years of continual reward for being a procrastinator!
No wonder you don't get much done!
The point, logically enough, is to reverse the process by taking advantage of the reinforcement power of the little, everyday treats you ordinarily give yourself for no good reason at all.
Here's how it should work:
It's Sunday and it's time to mow the lawn. However, the "Big Game" is on T.V. soon. You think about it and decide to get out there and mow the lawn first. Now, you've put things in the right order! Thus, as you spend the next few hours relaxing in your easy-chair, "popping" an occasional beer, munch on some pretzels, and enjoying the game, you can think of it as a lavish reward for getting your Sunday chore done!
It's time to write that term-paper for Sociology class. Yet, it occurs to you that it might be nice to raid the refrigerator first. But this time you make the right decision and work on your term-paper first! Now, when you head to the kitchen, make yourself a jumbo sandwich, and gobble it down with some corn chips and a Coke, you view your snack as a positive reinforcement for a job well-done!
It's a minor change in sequence, but it makes all the difference in the world! Now, instead of rewarding your lazy tendencies, you're reinforcing your productive ones!
It's an elegant strategy. You're using the natural reinforcement powers of everyday treats to shape your behavior in the direction you want it to go. Simply said: you can harness the power of your daily treats to reward the positive traits you want to develop.
The possibilities are endless! All those sodas, all those snacks, all those favorite T.V. shows -- if each became dependent upon the completion of some minor chore, how reinforcing those treats might become. And, how many more chores might get done!
Even the simplest tasks are amenable to this strategy. For example, most of my college students tell me they often snack while reading their textbook assignments. Unfortunately, they do such snacking the wrong way. Like most of us, the snacking is generally used as a "break" from their studies. I often suggest, however, that such snacking ought to be used to an advantage. Instead of random munching, say with a Pepsi and a bag of potato chips, I instruct them to save their snack as a reward for reading every two pages of the text. As every two pages are read, it's time to engorge a few potato chips and imbibe a swallow or two of Pepsi. Now, their snacking behavior becomes a reward for success rather than a reward for avoidance.
Step 4, "reinforce, if necessary," assumes that some of the top items on your list of things to do are items you've rated with a minus. These are the things you have to do, but don't enjoy. Coupling such tasks with a pleasant treat from your "treat analysis" list can help motivate you to get them done more regularly. Even items with zero ratings can profit from a little extra reinforcement, now and then!
The beauty of using positive reinforcement to change lazy, procrastinating habits goes far beyond one's ability to change actual behavior. The beauty is that as behavior changes, attitudes change also. The more one is positively reinforced for a behavior, the more one likes to perform that behavior.
Years of psychological learning experiments prove that behaviors learned with positive reinforcement seem to become ingrained and permanently stamped in an individual's repertoire. Eventually, such behaviors appear to become so much a part of the person's make-up that reinforcers are no longer needed. In essence: the person comes to actually enjoy the task which was previously reinforced, even when the reinforcer is absent.
What this means for we average procrastinators is that by coupling our normal "treats" to the completion of everyday chores not only helps motivate us to keep-up with our responsibilities, it means that, over time, we'll actually come to enjoy keeping-up with those responsibilities -- even when no treat is forthcoming!
MAKING IT WORK
Now you're armed with everything you need to "Get Better Organized." You've listed everything that you have to or want to do, you've rated each item on your list as to how much you enjoy it or not, you've set each of the items in an overall priority based on it's "importance," and you've learned how to use your everyday pleasures to reward your accomplishment of the more unpleasant tasks on your list. Now it's time to put theory into practice...
Begin with the prioritized "master deck" of cards you've created. Go through the deck and break-down the many tasks to a series of daily (or weekly) ones.
Now, with your daily or weekly lists you're ready to begin to Get Better Organized. Everyday, you've set a series of tasks for yourself. At the start, keep your lists small. The idea is to complete each daily list -- so keep it manageable -- don't overload yourself. The object is to succeed at completing your list, not to frustrate yourself.
Your lists should also be balanced. It shouldn't contain just chores, it ought to include pleasurable pursuits as well. Likewise, other than absolutely necessary chores, it should concentrate mostly on "high priority" items.
Each day, then, you'll set out to accomplish every item on your list. Upon conclusion of any bland or unpleasant task, reward yourself with a treat or an pleasant item from your list. And by the way, when you "treat" yourself, take some time with it -- really savor it -- continue to remind yourself that the treat you're enjoying is your reward for completing a task off your list!
At the end of day, you ought to plan a special reward (say a favorite T.V. show) for the successful completion of your entirely daily list. Remember, however, this special reward is your big treat for completing every task on your list. If you succeed, really indulge yourself. Relish your big treat fully (and continually remind yourself that this treat is allowed only because you've been so successful)! On the other hand, to make this program effective, you MUST deny yourself the big treat if you've failed to accomplish every item on your list. This requirement is tough -- but it is essential if you're really serious about getting organized.
Now if you are able to succeed on a daily basis, the next logical step is to plan even bigger rewards for yourself on a weekly or monthly basis. For an entire week's successes in keeping up with your lists, you might plan dinner at your favorite restaurant. For a month's success -- maybe a weekend getaway.
Finally, you're on the right track. Day by day, your slowly training yourself to become well-organized, productive, and non-procrastinating. Moreover, by rewarding yourself at every step of the way, you are utilizing the power of positive reinforcement -- the most effective and potent force psychologists have discovered in creating sturdy and lasting behavior change.
After a few weeks of self-training, you may find that keeping up with your responsibilities is becoming a bit easier than it ever has been in the past. Slowly, you'll notice that being better organized is becoming second- nature. A new habit of non-procrastination is developing to replace those old tendencies to put things off and waste time non-productively.
But even better: more than just a habit is forming, it is a habit you're actually coming to enjoy! You're finding that you like the "new, more productive you." You feel better about yourself as you become the kind of person who gets things done. In fact, you begin to discover that the treats you're giving yourself aren't half as important a reward of "success feelings" you'll be getting from the regular dispatch of your chores and responsibilities.
JUST SAY NO!
Finally, there needs to be a time when we just say "No."
Especially when you look at your "low priority" cards -- the ones at the bottom of your deck -- it may be easy to dismiss them completely! In many instances, procrastination serves a useful purpose. It keeps us from doing things we just don't want or need to do. Thus, in such cases, the best advice may be: don't do it!
As you go through your cards, consider eliminating the item altogether. Particularly if the majority of items you list are highly unpleasant, imagine how much happier you might be if you turned your efforts to more pleasurable pursuits instead! You might be amazed to find how many things you "have to" do can go without being done at all (or, at least, less often).
Part of "getting better organized" is being able to say "No" to some "have to" things in life. The ability, as I see it, to separate chores from imperatives. In this regard, one way to look at the difference between happy and unhappy people is to look at the way they spend their time. Happy people spend more of their time working at the top of their lists, and allowing things at the bottom to slip if necessary. Unhappy people somehow get bogged-down at the bottom of their lists -- never finding time for the really important things...
So, now you're equipped with the "anti-procrastinating program," you've got your lists together, you've spent some time deciding what you want in life, and you've set your life's and daily goals in priority. You've got your treats ready to reward your progress, and you know where you're going. You're beginning to behave more like the happy people as you become "better organized and plan things out."
Now if you've really taken the lessons here to heart, you would put this book down and immediately complete some household chore. After that, treat yourself to a soda and the reading of the next, highly enjoyable chapter of this book as your reward!