HUMAN HAPPINESS - ITS NATURE & ITS ATTAINMENT
VOLUME I: THE NATURE OF HAPPINESS
CHAPTER 7
THE HAPPY
PERSONALITY
The study of personality is probably the most fascinating field in psychology. Personality is what makes each of us unique and special. It is our own, individual essence. It is comprised of many qualities, traits, and behaviors. It includes our feelings, our attitudes, our values, our preferences, our talents, and our quirks.
Personality is literally the core of our being. Though shown, to some extent, on the outside -- through our behaviors and expressions -- personality primarily resides within. That no two people are exactly alike is a manifest. Each of us, as our lifetime progresses, develops our own, unique individuality. Yes, each of our personalities is, above all else, the unique contribution we bring to the world. Personality is not what a person has on the outside, but what a person is on the inside. And this is what we'll be studying in the present chapter.
In the last chapter, we looked at the happy person from the outside. It was a view from afar. From an objective distance, we saw that "happy people have it made" in straight, statistical terms. They're more likely to be married, more likely to have high status, more likely to enjoy high incomes, etc.. But we could have discovered these things by checking available public records -- or spying on these people from down the block. So far, we've learned about these happy people without even meeting them...
But now we get the chance to look closer!
In this chapter, we'll come to meet the happy people more personally as we examine the research on "the happy personality."
As in the previous chapters, the pages that follow can provide you with a variety of insights about your own personal happiness. Here are the kinds of questions you should keep in mind as you read: Do you have the traits of a happy personality? Are there qualities happy people possess that you might try developing? Do you see things in your personality that might explain why you are as happy (or unhappy) as you are? How would your friends and family rate you on these personal characteristics? Let's look at the happy personality and see how you do.
SELF IMAGE
The most basic part of human personality is a person's self image, or how one basically thinks about one's self. In this regard, happy people excel. Study after study has found them to be exceptionally high in self-worth and self-esteem (7, 27, 34, 55, 79, 108, 122, 132, 135, 202, 216, 230, 235, 241, 259, 261, 262, 272, 319). Clinical psychologists use the term "strong ego" to describe positive attitudes the happy people have about themselves (132). Basically put, happy people like themselves! They have a satisfying sense of identity; they tend to have more favorable descriptions of themselves; their self-descriptions are closer to their "ideal image" than is true of unhappy people; they are more satisfied with their personality; and they have less "things about themselves that they'd like to change" than do unhappy people (77, 130, 132, 133, 172).
As we've seen, happy people have many sources of good feelings in their lives, but apparently one, major source of such good feelings comes from a strong sense of self-satisfaction. Indeed, positive feelings about oneself seem very important to happiness. In two, independent studies, where dozens of goals typical of college students were examined, the goal of "developing self-confidence" showed the highest relationship to happiness of any college achievement (171, 172).
Interestingly, this high self-regard is not the result of a superficial, inflated, or exaggerated self-image. Nor is it the product of self-deception or false conceit. To the contrary, psychologists find that happy people have a extremely honest view of themselves. In general, they tend to have a greater degree of insight into their personality than do the unhappy (117), they are very candid in their appraisals of their personal strengths and weaknesses (129), and they are generally more self-acceptant of their faults (130). They are more certain about their attitudes and values (108), have less problems with their philosophy of life (123), and have a good sense of their purpose and direction in life (132). Simply put, happy people know who they are, and what they want from life (172).
The self-image of happy individuals is also remarkably sturdy. One example of this is that happy people are not particularly sensitive to other persons opinions about them (7, 129, 130). They tend to be most autonomous, self- trusting, and inner-directed -- putting more value on their own opinions than the opinions of others (202, 172). This kind of personal strength and self-trust is also shown in the finding that happy people are much more secure and self-confident than most individuals (27, 132, 202).
SOCIAL PERSONALITY
Earlier we saw that happy people live an active, successful, and highly satisfying social life. The personality research on happy people shows a good reason for this: they are blessed with superior social skills and a likeable, gregarious social personality.
Happy people have many characteristics that aid their social success. They are gregarious, extroverted, outgoing people (132, 135, 202, 230, 235, 241, 255, 283, 319, 396, 397, 398, 399), they love conversation (30, 143), they have an easier time making friends (130), they are better able to make a favorable first impression (129), they have a good sense of humor and share it readily (129), they're generally cheerful and enthusiastic (55, 129, 261, 262), they are more candid (132, 172), they're quite natural and spontaneous (132, 202, 230, 235), they express their feelings more (202), and they are less afraid to expose themselves as people (132, 172). In addition, they have greater trust in other people (108, 202), they are seen as being more sympathetic by their friends (59), they generally hold others in high esteem (147, 202), and they're seen by those around them as being open, warm, empathetic, and tactful (286).
Even in those public situations that most of us dread, happy people have poise. They are less self-conscious about speaking before a group, and they feel confident about their ability to lead a group discussion or act in a play (129). In social situations, they are typically self-confident and self-assured (132).
As psychologists Alden Wessman and David Ricks summed it, in their classic work Mood and Personality (132):
The happy person likes meeting people. He is gregarious, extroverted, genial, responsive, kindly, frank, and accepting.
No wonder happy people are so successful socially. They tend to be highly attractive in social terms.
Indeed, happy people are often rather "popular" (129). Yet popularity is a shallow term to explain the likeability of happy people. Many of their qualities are the kind of qualities psychologists have associated with the with the ability to develop deep, meaningful, healthful relationships with others (199, 204). Happy people are characterized with healthy, mature relationships (202). Their relationships are considered healthy and well-adjusted, according to clinical psychologists who have studied them closely (133, 132). And, as we saw in the last chapter, their relationships are especially satisfying and happy ones (132, 133, 147, 202).
There is something even more fundamental about the social nature of happy people: they tend to place a much greater importance on their social life and are much more concerned with successful social relationships than is true of most people (123, 129, 201). Even their career choices often show a social orientation (social/personnel areas are the more typical choices of happy students for example (40)). By contrast, unhappy people are much more likely to express anti-social feelings. Their career choices tend to deal more with things than people (40) and they typically prefer to live alone (129).
In my own studies, where the inner values of happy people were examined, values on social relationships have shown consistent relationships with happiness (201, 202). Values on "affection," "love for others," "true friendship," "being tolerant, accepting, and nonjudgmental toward others," "being kind and caring toward others" were related to being happy (201, 202), particularly for women. Happy women have especially strong values on interpersonal relationships and concern for others. The data for both men and women, however show that those of either sex who place values on social withdrawal or misanthropy are, generally, very unhappy. It has been found, for example, that people who hold others in low regard, gain little happiness from social interaction (147). Perhaps this is one clue to social withdrawal of some unhappy people: their dislike of others keeps them from enjoying the great emotional rewards that happy people, who do hold others in high-esteem, gain from social interaction.
The trait of "extroversion" (social outgoingness) and its relationship to happiness is so strong, that many researchers consider it to be among the most pronounced characteristics that happy people possess. Indeed, my own studies on happiness have found this to be so typical of happier people (202, 230, 235) that I have often referred to "extroversion" as one of the "Hallmark Qualities" of happy individuals (228, 229, 289)!
LEADERSHIP
The height of social success, of course, is to be selected as a leader, and happy people often rise to the top in this regard. Happy people, are found to have many leadership skills (129, 202). They are generally considered as influential (286) and usually find themselves in leadership positions (12, 21, 27, 65, 107, 129, 130, 286).
Personality research finds that happy people have many qualities that would make them fine leaders. Their orientation to leadership roles is positive and democratic. For example, happy people strongly dis-value fascist thinking (178). They tend to be less conservative and dogmatic in their ideologies than are unhappy people (201, 178). Particularly, they place less value on power and the control of others, especially control over political decisions (201, 202). Thus, the leadership motivations of happy people tend not to be centered on the personal power and control that typifies some leaders (179).
Happy people have a great concern for humanity, and their motive toward leadership is essentially positive. They place a slightly stronger value on "world peace" than most people (201), they tend to give more of their time to helping others in the community, they are found to have a more democratic character (202), they possess a high respect for others (147), they tend to be more open minded (329), and their views of human nature are quite trusting and positive (202). The happy person appears to be more concerned with the well-being of others, than power, control, or coercion.
When one couples these democratic, humanitarian qualities with the many positive social traits we covered in the preceding section, an ideal picture of leadership emerges. Here is the kind of person most anyone would love to work for! Concerned, caring, self-assured, socially adroit, etc. Rather than stressed-out, harried, and driven, the happy leader is typically much more calm, relaxed, and comfortable (202, 286). Yet the question is, "Can he or she get the job done?"
The answer is "Yes." Because in addition to all this, happy people are also remarkably competent...
COMPETENCE & MASTERY
Mastery over the environment is the quintessential quality of Humanity. The the highest of all Human attributes is the ability to control circumstance, and such control is a central theme in happiness research.
"Competence" is the term psychologists prefer to describe this mastery. "Competence" is a common word that conveys in its ordinary definition skill, mastery, and ability. But to psychologists, it's definition is even richer. Coined by the psychologist White, "competence" has become a technical term in psychology which refers to the all the special abilities a person might have to work effectively, and to survive successfully, within their environment. Included in this more technical definition, are personal assets like I.Q., cognitive ability, motivation, efficiency, planning, time-management, perseverance, problem-solving skills, raw talent, etc., etc..
And when it comes to such overall "competence," happy people excel (2, 27, 34, 108, 122, 132, 230, 235). Happy people are remarkably effective people (132, 415). They have the necessary mastery over themselves and their surroundings to achieve goals (132). The have the skills to accomplish most anything they wish.
Many skills combine to produce "competence," and, typically, happy people have them. Some, as you might remember, have already been mentioned; for example, happy people put more energy and enthusiasm into their activities, they're more involved in their activities (55, 129), they invest more, emotionally, in their activities (21), and they have high levels of zest and energy to devote to their activities (129, 132, 230, 261, 262, 415). Happy people also tend to be more strategic as they approach life. They tend to be more serious, deliberate, and planful than unhappy people (129). They prefer, in general, to plan things out, rather than go on impulse (129, 132). They make more long range commitments (132), they are punctual (132), they are efficient (59, 132), and they are "clear-thinking" (261, 262). They tend to overestimate the amount of time they'll need to do their work (132), they are persistent in seeking their goals (144), and they are less quick to tire from their work (63, 129). They show initiative (132, 401), and generally show autonomy in their decision making (rarely needing to ask others for advice) (202). Furthermore, happy people are industrious, self-assertive, forceful, spirited, and able (132); dominant (59, 132) and influential (286); adventurous (132, 401); responsible and cooperative (202); and emotionally mature (132, 401, 402). They are present oriented (not burdened by preoccupation with the present or the past), focusing on immediate problems and tasks (202). And finally, as we saw earlier, they have excellent self-direction and organization (132), they are successful in dealing with people, and they are often in more responsible jobs and leadership positions (12, 21, 27, 65, 107, 129, 130, 202).
We are left with the picture of the kind of person who has the skills to get things done. What's more, they have the self-confidence to go with it (132), feeling capable about their ability to administrate even large numbers of workers (129).
In other words, happy people have the kinds of forceful, planfull, and industrious traits that help them achieve their desires. Unhappy people, however, are characteristically opposite: they are inefficient, they underplan, they show little initiative, they lack self-confidence, and they are dependent on direction from others rather than on self-reliance. Indeed, this is one of the main points of happiness research: happy people approach life situations in order to master them, while the unhappy are more likely to withdraw from life situations in order to avoid them (202). It appears that there are two basic strategies to living -- approach or withdraw. Happiness follows the approach strategy.
Even more important than having the skills to get what they want, happy people have a better idea of what they want to get. Happy people are better at defining their goals (132), they know themselves and their abilities better (117, 129), they are more certain of their attitudes, goals, and general philosophy of life (108, 113, 123), and they are better directed toward their goals (132). Happy people know what they want (401), and obviously this is a skill that puts them in a better position to achieve what they want.
And what do they want? Well, one of the things they want is happiness itself! Happy people put more stress on values of happiness, emotional well-being, and similar feelings than others do (95, 132, 201, 202, 286). Apparently, happy individuals want to be happy, and they have the competencies to help them attain it.
Finally, there is what psychologists refer to as "fate control"...
One of the more highly characteristic qualities of happy individuals is their feeling that they in control of their lives (209, 216, 241, 255, 259, 286, 295, 329, 336, 388). Unlike unhappier people, who feel that the events in their life are out of their control, happier people feel that their fate is largely in their own hands. Obviously, such a sense of mastery over life is a wonderful way to feel, and, from what we've reviewed above, this feeling appears to be based on solid skills and competencies, for the happy person.
INTELLIGENCE
Intelligence has always been considered the supreme human characteristic. Reputedly, it is the one thing that truly separates Humankind from other species. It is the key ability that explains our successful evolution to the predominate place it holds. So the question naturally presents itself: is intelligence a major factor in human happiness? The answer, surprisingly, is "No."
Studies that have compared intelligence measures (I.Q., academic ability tests, college grades) with personal happiness have, collectively, shown no conclusive trends. Some studies show a relationship between high I.Q. and happiness (66, 83, 128) (supporting the "smarter is better" hypothesis); others find a relationship between high I.Q. and unhappiness (40, 57, 140) (supporting the "ignorance is bliss" hypothesis). But the vast majority of studies, both in America and abroad, confirm that there is no significant relationship between happiness and standard intelligence measures (59, 129, 133, 241, 286). In addition, College Board scores (a test of college aptitude) have also failed to show any relationship to happiness (133). College grades, often suggestive of intelligence, show the same type of picture: some studies show a slight tendency for better grades among the happy, (108, 132, 140), but other studies show no such relationship at all (133, 171, 299).
Taken together, research on these standard indicators of intellectual ability (I.Q., aptitude tests, college grades), suggest that happy people show no particular intellectual or mental superiority. Indeed, psychologist Paul Cameron work has shown there are not even happiness differences between the retarded individuals he has studied, and those of normal intelligence (293).
For all of us, I suspect, this is rather encouraging data. Apparently, one's innate potential for happiness is not effected by native intelligence. One can be quite bright, "just plain average," or rather dull -- and the chances for eventual happiness are about the same!
These findings come as somewhat of a suprise when we consider how competent and successful happy people are in terms of occupational status, job responsibility, social popularity, and economic level. Can it mean that this kind of success is not related to intelligence? Perhaps so...
Some of the most important research in the areas of success and income has found little association with factors like educational achievement, cognitive ability, and I.Q. (500). As much as we might like to believe, intelligence relates very little to income or success. Especially, the more traditional measures of "success potential" (I.Q., grades, etc.), apparently, show hardly any relationship with eventual success and happiness.
College performance provides a perfect example. It is perhaps the most "even playing field" one finds in life. How does happiness fit in here?
First of all, the relationship between happiness and I.Q. in college is minimal, and secondly, happy students don't get much better grades than unhappier students. But in the long haul, happier students win out. Grade-wise, they tend to do better in college than their aptitude-scores predicted (while the unhappier students do poorer than predicted), and happier students go on to complete many more years of education that their unhappier counterparts (132).
In college, happiness is not strongly tied to intellectual success. In fact, those college students who put the greatest stress on values like "intellectual ", "theoretical", "wisdom", and "logical" were more likely to be unhappy (201). This may indicate that intellectual work holds more frustrations than rewards, or it may indicate that other college goals (like those that are more social in nature) are more conducive to happiness. The data generally produces a picture of the happy student as highly competent, highly social, and highly active, but only average in academic success. The picture seems to be one of balance -- the happy student doesn't devote total attention to school work, indeed it looks like he only spends as much time as is necessary to continue in good standing while devoting more time to those social activities that are strongly related to overall happiness.
In sum, happy people are not particularly brighter, they just do better!
ASPIRATION-LEVEL
When we look at the generally high level of success happy people enjoy, it seems natural to assume that the happy people are highly ambitious, aggressive, and strongly achievement-motivated individuals. The data, remarkably, suggests quite an opposite conclusion.
Actually, happy people tend to have a somewhat lower need for success than the unhappy people. High ambition tends to be much more characteristic of unhappy people than it is for happy people (133, 135). In studies focusing on attitudes, for instance, those who strongly stressed values on "achievement," "ambition," and "great accomplishments" tended to be rather unhappy (201, 202). Unhappy people also score much higher on standard measures of the "need for achievement" (133). Furthermore, unhappy people were found, in other analyses, to be much more likely to set overidealized and rigid goals for themselves (202, 132); goals -- as they, themselves, report -- are rarely achieved. Happy people, on the other hand, are more modest and realistic in their goal-setting.
Numerous studies have shown that aspiration-levels have little to do with happiness. Years of research on "job satisfaction," for example, has shown that a person with low ambitions can be just as satisfied with his low job benefits as can a highly ambitious person who achieves higher benefits (93, 500).
The fact that happy people don't seem to have an intense need for accomplishment and achievement appears rather paradoxical in light of the "success picture" we've painted for happy people. Yet, as theorist as far back as William James have noted: ambition is one thing; actual success is another -- and both are related to how happy one is (390). As we discussed earlier in the "Laws of Happiness," one's happiness is based, not merely on what we get from life, but what we want to get, and numerous studies have confirmed this theory...
Take any group of people who have arrived at the same level of success, the happier people among them are found to be those who have more modest aspirations (133). On the other hand, taking a group of people with identical aspiration-levels, those who have achieved more, are happier (133). Ultimately, maximum happiness occurs when aspirations are low and achievement is high!
It is not that highly ambitions people can't be happy. People high in ambition and people low in ambition can both be just as happy -- if their ambitions are reached. There's nothing magic about lower ambitions. It's just that between the two, lower ambitions are more often achieved than higher ones.
Furthermore, there is some evidence that suggests the amount of effort spent on achieving a goal has little effect upon the satisfaction one receives upon its completion (130). If this is indeed the case, achievement, not effort, may be the important factor. The accomplishment of extremely difficult goals may not be much more satisfying than the accomplishment of less difficult ones (130, 162). Moreover, since happiness seems tied to net satisfactions, success at a series of easier goals may provide much more happiness than success at one, very difficult, long-term goal.
In the final analysis, it is probably safe to say that a main reason happy people are not highly ambitious is because they've already arrived!
Happy people typically report that they are doing very well in life; that they are getting the things they want out of life; and that they have little desire to change any part of their life the way it already is (147). Rather than being harried, stressed, and driven to achieving their goals, in many ways, their goals have already been met -- and most interestingly, this seems to appy to individuals in all class and income levels.
OPTIMISM
One of the most significant personality characteristics happy people display is optimism. Happy people are characteristically high in optimism (55, 60, 63, 117, 130, 132, 144, 201, 202, 230, 235, 255, 261, 262, 286). They tend to view things in the most positive light. In my own studies of the values of happy people, optimism was, by far, the value most strongly associated with happiness (201). In that study, dozens of goals and values were examined, yet optimism was something the happiest people valued more than anything else. Happy people also have highly positive and optimistic views of basic human nature (202). They generally look on the bright side of things.
Indeed, among all the personality traits of happy people, "optimism" is the second of the two "Hallmark Traits" of happy individuals. It, along with "extroversion," are the two most pronounced characteristics of happy people found in the research (202, 229, 230, 235, 255, 289).
Not that these two factors entirely describe the complete picture of the happy personality. But, if you only had two factors to go on, "extroversion" and "optimism" would be the best things to look for in identifying happy people...
Say you were one of our student researchers, and your "top secret mission" was to find the happiest person in your neighborhood. First, you should isolate the most friendly, outgoing persons in your neighborhood, then you should look for the most optimistic, positive individual among them. More than likely, you've identified the happiest person in your area -- at least, according to research predictions.
An optimistic outlook appears to mitigate life's circumstances. High income, good health, status, success, friendly social relationships, and a happy marriage all go with happiness. But what good are these things if a person can't view them positively? Here is where "the happiness law of subjectivity" come into play. How one views their circumstance is more important to happiness than what their circumstance actually are...
WORRY
One of the major findings about the happy people is that they worry a lot less than most people (18, 21, 27, 55, 112, 125, 130, 147, 202, 235, 396, 397, 398, 399).
Certainly this makes sense. A worried mind is a mind preoccupied with negative, uncomfortable feelings -- just the opposite of the pleasant state of mind associated with happiness. For the average person, worry is the most detrimental thing they do to undermine their potential happiness. And as we will see in Volume II, when we analyze worry more extensively, most worry serves no practical function -- it is truly an exercise in futility! This is because most people tend to worry about 1) things that are beyond their control, and 2) things that are highly unlikely to occur (21).
No, happy people are enviably free of worry. They tend to be truly carefree and enjoy real peace of mind (130, 132).
Of course, this does not mean that happy people don't plan. There is a quite a distinction between worry and planning. We need to plan and to make good decisions, and happy people, as we saw earlier, are very planful and organized. But it is when the planning is done, that worry typically takes hold. Worry typically becomes strongest for most people after the decision has been made! Worry is fretful, apprehensive, and generally nonproductive. Planning is usually quite productive and often enjoyable and satisfying.
Happy people know this, apparently. They plan more (129, 132), but worry less. The happiest people find that balance between adequate planning and minimal worrying that provides both maximum success in living and a minimum of unpleasant thought and mental stress.
RELIGIOUS THOUGHT AND HAPPINESS
We see that happy people are highly optimistic, and they hardly worry at all. We've also documented that happy people tend to find a great deal of meaning and purpose in their lives. We've seen that people in their happiest moods see life in extraordinarily metaphysical terms. It would lead one to consider the relationship between religiousness and happiness. Not surprisingly, this topic has been the focus of numerous studies...
Religious practices, as one might initially suspect, generally shows a positive relationship to happiness (133, 63). For example, studies show that happy people are are more likely to attend a church regularly (21, 34, 55, 108, 129, 130, 136); they feel they get help and consolation from the church (130); they place a greater importance to religion in their value hierarchy than unhappy people do (201); they often come from homes concerned with religious thought (129); and they tend to be more satisfied with their beliefs than others are. However, as "the happiness law of diminishing returns" might predict, people who daily participate in church activity appear no happier than those participating at the minimal, one-a-week norm (136). Furthermore, it is not clear whether this relationship between religious activity comes from the actual beliefs involved, or the increased opportunity for social contact and social acceptance inherent in church affiliation (136, 286).
When it comes to particular religious beliefs, no religion can claim any happiness prize. In study after study, no major religion or denomination has shown any superiority in happiness (34, 55, 108, 132, 136, 241). In America, for example, Christians, Jews, Catholics, and other major faiths appear equally happy. Likewise, even within the major faiths, particular denominations show no happiness differences. Baptists, Episcopalians, Methodists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, etc., all appear equally happy. Even within denominations, there is no difference in happiness between the people who hold radical, liberal, traditional, or fundamentalist viewpoints (129, 133, 140). Comparisons of world-wide religions show the same findings (55, 241, 286). There appears to be no significant happiness difference between any of the major world religions. Moslems, Christians, Shinto, Jews, Catholics, Buddhists, Hindu, etc. -- all have equally happy adherents. And perhaps most surprising, most of the studies find that religiousness has little to do with happiness. The vast majority of studies show that that agnostics, atheists, and non-religious people are just as happy as religious believers (129, 130, 133, 134, 140, 202, 216, 241, 259, 286, 290, 295, 304, 335).
The studies appear conclusive on one point: what you believe is not particularly important when it comes to happiness. But the fact that no particular religious belief leads to any greater happiness does not mean that happy people are not "religious" in a broader sense...
Actually the data shows that, irrespective of their specific religious or philosophical beliefs, happy people share many, more fundamental precepts in common.
A study dealing with personal values showed moderate correlations with many measures of religious values (201). The specific religious values, however, that got the biggest emphasis were values such as these: "being religious, mystical, concerned with the unity of all experience," "seeking to understand the cosmos" "seeking to flow with and serve cosmic purposes," and the "finding of meaning and purpose in life" (201). A value on the specific idea of "salvation," however, did not show any relation to happiness.
The conclusion seems that specific religious ideas or a beliefs in a god are not particularly important to happiness -- the important thing happiness is that one has a basically religious, mystical outlook on life -- and in this sense most all religious and non-religious, philosophical beliefs are essentially the same.
When we dig below the surface, it is no surprise to find "religiousness" (in the broad sense) and happiness related. Indeed, the two seem to go together naturally. In a sense a happy mood is, fundamentally, a religious experience. In the chapter on happy moods we saw that when people feel happy everything seems more meaningful. Perceptions of harmony, love, beauty, and purpose commonly occur. Mystic, oceanic, and transcendental experiences frequently occur when people feel happy. Maslow writes that the happiest of moods that occur to average people are virtually identical to the rapturous experiences that have happened to the great religious mystics (81b). My own research on such peak happiness (201) showed same.(expand).
Feelings of happiness are so good that people tend to see life very religiously when they occur. Even those who do not believe in a god or religion, per se, perceive more meaning and beauty of life when they're feeling happy. Thus happiness gives people a perception of life that is, in the broadest sense of the word, religious. And in this broad sense, we could say that happiness and religion are one and the same experience. Religion is essentially the seeking, exploring and coming to understand the joy that is in the universe--and indeed every joy we feel takes us one more step to what is divine.
It is important, however, to see religion in its perspective. Even at it's best, religious affiliation ranks about the same as education in its influence on happiness, and that makes its influence less important than income, social relationships, and family satisfactions (21, 55, 130). And here's a sad note, in the unhappiest groups in society (the lower income groups), religion does little for happiness, indeed some evidence suggests that religious participation is more associated with a rise in negative, depressive feelings than happy ones for the unfortunate (21).
PERSONALITY PROBLEMS
There is much more than just the good, positive things in the the lives of the happy -- there is also an almost equally impressive lack of the negative things.
Happy people are not bothered by strong fears (129, 223, 230, 235), they have few troubles (27), they are less burdened by guilt feelings (132, 172, 202, 230), they have fewer resentments and regrets about their past (7, 202), they lack strong feelings of inferiority (132), and they are not shy, timid, or unduly self-conscious (129, 132, 230, 235). Particularly, happy people have less stress, anxiety, fewer nervous habits, as well as lower levels of psychosomatic symptoms and psychological distress than most people (21, 55, 112, 125, 130, 147, 216, 230, 235, 259, 261, 326). They are also freer of neurotic tendencies (50, 59, 132, 261, 396, 397, 398, 399), they suffer less from alienated, lonely and anomic feelings (7, 84, 132, 401), they tend to be less angry, anti-social, aggressive, hostile, and criminal (132, 133, 174, 230), and finally, as we've already seen, they worry far less than most of us do (18, 21, 27, 55, 112, 125, 130, 147, 202, 235, 396, 397, 398, 399).
Thus, in addition to their satisfactions in life, happy people are also lower on the negative, unpleasant things of life. But not wonder! With all those good things going for them, it's hard to imagine how such negative feelings could develop.
THE UNHAPPY SIDE OF THE COIN
This book is about happiness. Therefore, we have not intended to present here a full exploration to the negative opposites of happiness (unhappiness, depression, melancholia, etc.) for these topics have been extensively treated by psychologists elsewhere (1, 33, 47, 56, 106, 132, et. al. Beck..). But to help clarify the picture we've drawn of the happy personality, we should look briefly at this other side of the coin.
A lot is known of the unhappy states seen so often by psychologists and psychiatrists in their clinical work. Indeed, psychologists have expended nearly a hundred times their effort in measuring what is wrong with the ill than they have what is right with the healthy. Such unhappy states have received tremendous research attention, volumes more than has ever been paid to happiness. The basic results however, complement and add depth to our findings on happiness.
Two of the most noticeable of the factors associated with depression are two that we have found strongly associated with happiness: 1) self-esteem, and 2) social participation. Studies consistently note the low, self-depreciating levels of self-esteem and the tendency for social withdrawal and isolation typical of the depressed patient (132). The happy personality, of course, is just the opposite. Thus, in these two important areas--the happy and the unhappy are diametrically opposed to each other. Other instructive facts about the melancholic patient are his strong dependent tendencies and meticulous, rigid values and behavior patterns (132). The unhappy personality is typified by high personal standards, goals, and narrow interests (132). Furthermore, data on what would apparently be the most unhappy group in society, those who commit suicide, shows that their psychological and socio-economic statistics are essentially the same as statistics on unhappy people generally (108).
The unhappy have been described thusly:
"They were pessimistic in their expectations and low in self-confidence and self-esteem. They were unsuccessful and dissatisfied in their inter-personal relationships, feeling isolated, anxious, and guilty. They . . .were less successful in attaining the necessary organization and mastery to achieve their goals." (132).
In addition, the unhappy are more neurotic and poorly adjusted, have many unfulfilled aspirations, have problems with their philosophy of life, are anxious, rigid, and meticulous, display low spontaneity, are guilty, are dependent on others for self-esteem, are overconcerned with prestige and social approval, have a dissatisfying family life, are self-abasing, feel inadequate and insecure, are pessimistic and suspicious, have experienced a loss of love, are socially withdrawn, and tend to worry excessively (132, 147, 201, 230, 235).
HAPPINESS AND MENTAL HEALTH
After all this, it's pretty obvious that being happy is a lot better than being unhappy. But how healthy is it to be happy?
One of the most interesting questions psychologists have asked over the years is whether happy people are mentally healthy or not? Most theorists imply that happiness is the ultimate symptom of mental health. Yet others believe that happiness is a sign of lunacy. Is it "o.k." to be happy? That is the question!
Let's examine the standard criteria...
The expert view in this field suggests that mental health is typified by the following traits: (1) an accurate, positive self-understanding, (2) realization of potentialities (what is called "self-actualization"), (3) and integrated personality, (4) autonomous thought and action, (5) accurate perceptions of the world, (6) environmental and social effectiveness, and, of course, (7) an absence of negative symptomology (180, 181). Traditional views of mental health have also strongly emphasized things like the mastery of the environment, good family relationships, meaningful social relationships, a positive self-image, satisfactory job adjustment, and successful role adjustment.
Using the above characteristics as a yardstick (and compare them to the happy people we have studied in this book), it is abundantly clear that the happy personality excels in each of these healthy criteria. Therefore, it should be no surprise that the research regarding happiness and mental health unanimously finds that happy people are extremely mentally healthy (55, 59, 63, 104, 108, 117, 123, 132, 147, 201, 202, 230, 235, 261, 262, 286, 297, 298, 311, 329). Nor is it any surprise that in studies of clinical populations, especially among patients who've been diagnosed as "clinically depressed," happiness indices are invariably low (230, 235, 253, 256, 267, 277).
On every measure of mental health studied happy people rate at or near the top. They score in the superior range in virtually every major mental health test (132, 230, 235). Likewise, as we've seen above, they score low on tests measuring a wide variety of negative, psychopathological symptoms such as anxiety, tension, psychosomatic distress, and worry. Testing and assessment also shows superior social, martial, and occupational adjustment, as well as ego-strength, an integrated personality, higher self-concept, personal effectiveness, emotional stability, and superior social skills (132, 201, 230, 235). Virtually every major clinical and personality test devised by psychologists has been used to assess the mental health of happy persons (132, 201, 230, 235) and no matter how we assess it, psychology is coming to see that happiness is the primary symptom of mental health.
Critics of this position and they take the view that it is possible to find people who are unhappy yet fit all the other important criteria of mental health (180). Happiness data, however, suggests that such people are hard, if not impossible, to find. Statistically speaking, unhappy people just don't have any of the qualities associated with mental health -- and happy people seem to display all of them.
Indeed, a strong degree of happiness and a high degree of mental health are so strongly related in the collected data, it appears they are part and parcel of the same basic thing. As I've been quoted:
Happiness is mental health, and mental health is happiness. (289, Program 2).
I feel that measures of happiness are probably the best, and certainly the quickest, general indicator of mental health (201, 202, 230, 235). Other researchers in the field have also arrived at this same conclusion (147, 297, 298).
In other words: we can study the life situation of the person, take their life history, observe their habits, give them batteries of psychological tests, interview them with trained clinicians, and put it all together to arrive at a verdict regarding their mental health status--but to be simpler, we could just ask the person how happy they are, and the net result would be essentially the same. Thus you can quickly become your own mental health expert by simply tuning in on your emotional morale and honestly deciding if you're happy or unhappy.
In the past, mental health experts have focused their attention on many qualities of mental health, but rarely have they included happiness as a quality. These other criteria of mental health are certainly important and desirable, but happiness should also be included. My hope is that the data presented in this book ought to place happiness in its rightful place on the list.
Furthermore, not only should happiness go on the list of mental health criteria, I think, like many researchers in the field, that it should be placed right at the top of the list (147, 202, 230, 235). Frankly, in my view, happiness is the whole point to mental health. In this view happiness is the "end" and mental health is the "means" to that end. This is not a particularly new position, psychologists from Freud to Maslow believed that happiness was the reward or result of healthy adjustment. Up until now, however, this widely expressed belief had not received any objective research substantiation. The data we've gathered here though, provides that objective substantiation with little room for doubt. Happiness and the other standard characteristics of mental health do go together.
In such a view happiness becomes extremely important--it becomes the only real point of life. It is the raison d'être, not only philosophically and psychologically, but as we shall see later, evolutionarily. Happiness is the main reward life has to offer. Happiness is Mother Nature's way of telling us we're surviving well.
SELF ACTUALIZATION
One of the most studied models of mental health is Abraham Maslow's theory of "self actualization." The self-actualization model is similar in concept to traditional thinking on mental health, in fact the two terms are generally used synonymously in most adjustment textbooks. But there are some subtle differences. The most notable is that self-actualization theorists place a much greater stress the higher, more ennobling qualities of human personality as critical to optimal adjustment.
"Self actualization" is basically defined as the process of achieving one's fullest human potential. The concept rebels against the "average," being more concerned with the superior in achievement and the peaks in emotion. It focuses on the type of person who is autonomously motivated and who has developed a highly individualized personality and lifestyle. The self-actualized individual is involved with living on many levels, yet he or she is also somewhat detached from life, transcendent in his or her approach to the world. Maslow believed that "self actualization" was essentially a process of continued growth, and that happiness provided an accelerator to the process (406).
As with mental health, the relationship between "self-actualization" and happiness has often been studied -- and the two are strongly related! According to the research, happy people are quite self-actualized (202, 223, 230, 235, 248). They seem especially strong in some of the most widely accepted qualities of self-actualization like "present-orientation" (living fully in the present and not in the past), "inner-directedness" (independent, autonomous, and self-supportive), "self-regard" (liking oneself because of one's strengths), and "spontaneity" (freely expressing needs and feelings).
However, when measures of self-actualization have been directly compared to more traditional measures of mental health, the more traditional measures have shown the stronger relationship with happiness (202, 230, 235). Traditionally accepted mental health qualities like good social relationships, adjustment to reality, emotional stability, and leadership skills show stronger relationships with happiness than do many of the traits associated with self-actualization.
Why? For one thing, Maslow's theory stresses a certain degree of detachment, individuality, and cultural transcendence to a degree that may be antithetical to happiness. Our data would suggest that the happy person, instead of transcending life, is much more embroiled and involved in it. Moreover, this stress on detachment may well move the self-actualizer away from other people -- and other people, as we've seen, are a major source of happiness.
In a study of happiness, self-actualization, and personal values, for example, it was found that those people who strongly value independence, freedom, and being individualistic were more unhappy than happy (201). Deeper examination of these people's handwritten "philosophies of life" revealed that these individuals tended to define freedom mostly in a social sense -- as freedom from the influence of others. The underlying emphasis was definitely asocial.
Furthermore, when the values of happy versus self-actualized persons were examined for comparison the two groups stressed quite different preferences. The highly self-actualized put a much greater stress on values of enlightenment, knowledge, and insight, while the happier were more concerned with affection, friendship, health and well-being.
Moreover, the self-actualized model's emphasis on heightened individuality may also interfere with a high degree of happiness.
The ultimately self-actualized person is viewed as autonomous, special, and unique. Yet, as we will document in greater detail below, the picture of a happy person appears to be more typical and "normal." For example, happy people tend to score rather high on psychological tests of conformity and typicality. Thus, the unique individuality of self-actualized people may actually separate them from the social rewards that are more available to more typical and "average" people.
Maslow appears to have come to this conclusion himself. In his earlier writings he assumed that self-actualization would naturally lead to happiness (81). But in his last writings he came to recognize that some of the self-actualized persons were not as happy as he had anticipated -- precisely because their uniqueness had led more to social separation than social inclusion (cite).
In sum, happy people appear to be more self-actualized than average and unhappy people -- but they are not quite as unique and removed from typical social involvements as Maslow's original model predicted.
CHILDHOOD FACTORS
We've come a long way in our description of the happy person, but there's still a final question to answer: How do happy people develop the personality they have?
The answer lies in childhood.
Childhood influences on adult personality have been a major focus in psychology since Freud, and to some extent, Freud's famous dictum that "the child is the father of man" gets some support in the happiness research...
The childhood of happy people is far more likely spent in happy, harmonious family relationships (132). Happy people recall their family members as being happy persons and that love and harmony between their parents and themselves as being high (129, 132, 133, 202, 286). Happy people are far less likely to be from broken homes (95, 128), or from family backgrounds where illness, death, conflict, divorce, and other themes of instability were present (286).
Interestingly, the financial and educational levels of their family made no difference to the happiness statistics (129, 133, 286). Apparently, the family of the happy child does not have any educational or economic advantages to pass along to him -- the family's only bequeath is their attitude of happiness. But what better thing is there for a child to inherit?
Other childhood influences have been studied. For one thing, evidence suggests that happy people were more successful in resolving the typical problems of childhood without crisis or traumas (132, 171, 172); here is perhaps the birth of the competent personality we've seen before. Another thing is that all types of children, have an equal chance for adult happiness; only-children, for example, are just as likely to be happy as children with brothers and sisters (129, 133, 182, 286). Similarly, birth-order makes no difference to happiness. The numerical position of the child in relation to his brothers and sisters, whether first, second, third, etc., makes no difference to happiness (182). Whether the child was born "early or late in the family history" makes no difference either (182).
Still, the long-term influence of childhood factors on most people's adult happiness is relatively small. According to the collected research, how happy one was as a child is only a moderate indicator of how happy one will be in later years (10, 129, 132, 202). In fact, some studies indicate that there is no relationship at all between childhood and adult happiness (327).
Most people, it seems, are only marginally affected by happiness or unhappiness in their childhood years. Yet, this is mainly true for those raised under relatively normal circumstances. In extreme circumstances the picture changes. For a substantial minority, life-long happiness can be permanently stunted when the childhood years are scarred by neglect, deprivation, abuse, or trauma (286, 327).
As we discussed before, the happiness "Law of Recent Concerns" states that an individual's current situation has much more to do with happiness than things that have happened in the past. Except for the most traumatic of childhoods, most of us are only slightly limited by our early past.
For those of us who are parents, however, clearly the foundations for happiness is something which is laid early in life. Although childhood happiness may not determine life-long happiness, it certainly creates the possibilities for it. As I put it in my happiness tele-course: "The finest gift one can give a child is the gift of happiness." (289)
It starts with the emotional climate parents create between themselves in a marriage. As I was quoted in an Reader's Digest article,
"Emotional learning takes place during the first years. Before a child knows language, he draws conclusions from the emotional atmosphere: is the world an anxious, angry place, or a secure, happy place?" (376)
If there is a chance to raise a happier child, the key is to provide a childhood environment of happy ambiance. To paraphrase Fromm: a parent must not only be a "good parent," but also a happy person.
SUPER TYPICAL
We've seen that happy people are more typical in their role-adjustment, both on the job and in the marriage (21, 147, 202). The sex data we've reviewed shows that happier men and women are more likely to be better adjusted to traditional sex roles. Other data shows the happy personality is more likely a "social model" (132, 202, 235, 339), more likely to be positively conformistic, cooperative, competent, oriented toward social relationships, and displaying social leadership (202, 230, 235). World-wide data suggests that happy people tend to be a bit more conventional in their beliefs and life-styles (286, 329).
So, does this mean that Mr. and Mrs. "successful average," John and Jane Doe, are the happiest? On the surface, the evidence does suggest it.
The picture certainly appears to be one of typical adjustment to popularly accepted roles and behaviors. In fact, one of the most interesting proofs of this comes from one of the classic studies in the field, conducted by psychologists Alden Wessman and David Ricks (132). In their famous study, lengthy personality sketches were given of the happiest and the unhappiest people they studied. In their book, Mood and Personality, these researchers characterized their happiest subject as "an almost unbelievably good boy." Their description went on to reveal how incredibly typical were the goals, activities, motivations, outlooks, and background of this happiest person they found in their investigation, appeared to be.
Such descriptions conjure an image of the happy person as a blind conformist -- a mundane, average person who happily and successfully "fits the mold."
It is an image which fits perfectly with early ideas concerning mental health. Traditional views of mental health once considered typical, conforming behavior as a fundamental criterion of healthy adjustment. Generally, most clinicians in the 1930's, 40's, and 50's saw "healthy adjustment" primarily as "fitting in." Hence, the most common terms used to define healthy from unhealthy people were the terms "normal" and "abnormal."
Yet was such a "normal" view of mental health valid? The psychological community slowly came to reject it.
David Reisman was among the earliest critics of this conformist view of mental health (189). In his book "The Lonely Crowd", he identified what he termed the "other-directed person" -- the person who appeared to "fit in" and was well-adjusted in a traditional sense, yet often found life empty and unfulfilling.
More and more, psychology began to view true mental health as anything but "normal." The view slowly shifted the definition of healthiness away from the typical to the exceptional. Being "average" or "normal" soon became seen as the mid-point of an adjustment continuum which ranged from the severely disturbed at one end, to the optimally healthy at the other. In this view, being "normal" was only half the way there!
Led by theorists such as Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers, and others, healthiness was redefined in terms of higher than "normal" standards of individuality, personal development, and uniqueness.
"Fitting in" was no longer the ideal -- being your "real and unique self" was.
The idea is based on the conclusion that one can't count on one's culture to not go astray...
If just "fitting in" is the sole criteria of being adjusted, are you really healthy when you are a perfect citizen in a culture that aspires to the sadistic treatment of others?
The point many clinicians make is that one can be perfectly adjusted to a culture and be still be neurotic -- simply because the culture itself has neurotically oriented values (183). History is replete with examples of cruel and abusive societies. Can the average people in such harsh cultures, despite the fact that they "fit in" perfectly, be considered healthy? And even in modern society, is it always healthy to aspire to a cultures predominate values?
Therapist Albert Ellis, the founder of "cognitive therapy," thinks not. In fact, he suggests that many widely-held cultural ideas are the basis of many neurotic disorders (190). To paraphrase, Ellis cites two common ideas that make people sick: 1) "You have to be perfect to be acceptable", and 2), "Everybody must like you or you must be a failure." Clearly, no one can achieve such total perfection and universal likability. But if you believe you should, you'll never be happy.
And what of more broad social values, like the achievement of wealth or fame? If you believe what your culture teaches, such efforts ought to bestow riches in happiness if you succeed at them. Yet, in actual practice the rewards of such success are never as great people imagine them to be.
Conforming to cultural dictates and "fitting in" perfectly to one's society does not necessarily lead one to healthy adjustment, no does it automatically lead to happiness. Cultures can go astray, and in such a culture the more you attempt to "fit in" to it, the more neurotic and unhappy you can become.
Following the crowd can get you nowhere. It can even make you sick!
Still, the happiness data seems to suggest that happy people are usually rather "average" and "normal."
Putting aside the mental health debate for a moment, there's a lot to be said about being "average." "Being average must have its rewards," to paraphrase Mark Twain, "else why would God have made so many people that way?"
Being average facilitates adjustment in many ways. To the degree that one's adjustment is defined as "fitting in to society", it is obvious that the typical person should have much less trouble "fitting in" than the atypical individual. The average person is much more likely to find acceptance in society, and likewise, the average person is much more likely to find most aspects of that society acceptable to him. In fact, simply being part of the majority has its obvious satisfactions. It also seems axiomatic that an individuals who develop needs that consistently match the kinds of satisfactions their society provides will have the best chance to fulfill their needs.
In other words, the typical person is probably in the best position to fulfill his or her needs since such needs are so compatible with the society's provisions.
The atypical individual, on the other hand, may find little or no outlet for the individualized tastes and needs he or she has developed. Additionally, the atypical person is also far less likely to receive any acceptance or social rewards for their unique beliefs and life-style.
The research shows that similarity and commonality are the two main ingredients of social acceptability and attractiveness. Thus the average person will find a far wider range of social situations where he will be accepted and liked -- and consequently, because of the strong association between socializing and happiness, more likely to be happy.
Finally, the more typically adjusted the individual, the more likely he or she will be equipped to reap whatever rewards a particular culture offers its most model citizens. And what rewards are these? In modern society, the typical rewards are such things as high income and status, better health care and education, wide social acceptance, a more secure married and family life, and greater opportunity for personal success -- to mention just a few. And interestingly, the thing that strikes one about this list is that it practically duplicates the list of things we've already seen that are most strongly associated with happiness.
Evidently, to the socially model go most of society's rewards.
So the advice might be: "Be average young man!"
But that advice would be wrong...
Happy people are quite involved in average concerns, it's true! On the surface, they appear to be quite typical as well. But they are anything but "blind conformists" or a sheep following the social herd.
To the contrary. As we've seen, the data shows that happy people are quite "self-actualized" (in Maslow's sense), "competent" (in White's sense), and "inner-directed" (in Reisman's sense) (202, 223). Studies also show the thinking modes of happy people is neither rigid nor dogmatic (as is true of unhappy conformists), but, surprisingly, rather open minded and independent (178, 286, 295, 329). Though they tend to be somewhat traditional and typical in the values they hold, their views are not the result of an unquestioning conformity. Rather it appears the happy person conforms from autonomous motivations. Their motivation is internal and independent...
The paradoxical conclusion: happy people choose to be typical! They autonomously and highly independently decide to mesh themselves within the normal world.
It is like the difference Maslow found in the self-actualized people he studied: on the outside they appeared to be typical, but on the inside they were quite independent-minded and transcendent of conforming pressures. So on the surface happy people are just as involved with the same "normal" goals and activities most people are. But unlike unhappier people, who follow social convention out of fear, insecurity, or social obligation, the happy do so simply because that's what they like to do.
There is one more thing. Though happy people may be "average" because they tend to follow typical cultural avenues to fulfillment, happy people are definitely not average in one most important way: they succeed! They are, statistically speaking, the ones who typically get what most of us typically want.
Perhaps, then, tagging happy people with the term "typical" is off the mark. Maybe the term "super-typical" might be better...
We've seen ample evidence in research which confirms this view, so perhaps we should modify the view that happy people are merely typical. Consider them "super-typical" instead. In their own autonomous way, they've independently chosen to immerse themselves in "average" and "normal" pursuits, yet achieve a level of success at these pursuits that surpasses the norm. It is the strange picture of a highly independent and individual person doing better at more normal things than most normal people do.
CONCLUSION
There is little doubt that happy people have a certain, reliable set of personality characteristics which set them apart from others. In this Chapter we have enumerated them in detail. Yet perhaps a bit of a summary is in order.
One of the better summaries of the happy personality is found in the personality profile provided by what is named The Psychap Inventory (230,233), one of the major psychometric tests used by researchers to measure happiness traits. According to the research conducted with that instrument:
"Happy individuals have an extroverted, spontaneously friendly, and outgoing, social personality; a concern for others, and the ability to be a trusting, accepting friend; a healthy, positive self-image; good self-knowledge and self-acceptance; a high degree of autonomy and self-sufficiency; a lack of negative tensions and problems; a certainty of values; internal direction; exceptional organization and direction toward goals; and a remarkably high level of mental health and social adjustment. They have an enthusiastic and optimistic outlook on life; preponderantly positive thought patterns; a more modest level of ambition and expectation; a more realistic (than idealistic) approach to life and goal setting; a value focus on the present (they enjoy living more for today, and are not unduly preoccupied with past hurts or future apprehensions); a very low level of everyday worry; and a strong value commitment to their own personal happiness.
Unhappy people, in contrast, tend to be somewhat more shy, and introverted; a bit more self-conscious in social settings; a little "down on themselves" and self-critical; more uncertain about their motivations, values, goals, and direction in life; a bit unorganized and often procrastinate; and rely too much on others and not enough on themselves. in addition, unhappy people have a lot of personal problems, stress, and difficulties to contend with. They tend to over-idealize their goals, think pessimistically, worry a great deal, interpret events negatively, and are often preoccupied with past and/or future problems." (230)
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